Confessions to the President of Pakistan.

There is always this time in your life you feel you want to confess something, good or bad. Once I had a huge crush on my primary teacher. I gathered enough courage to confess it in front of her on the last day of the year. I returned home with a red mark on my face and, no it wasn’t a kiss. I never gathered such courage anymore. The point is, confessions bring about changes in a person.

Confessions are like, I don’t know, it’s like masturbation for the first time where you publicly accept to your friends about how you felt good and stuff (worst analogy ever).

Therefore, I have decided to confess to the President of Pakistan.

Sir!

1) When I first read/heard that you are an Oxford graduate and was a contender of becoming our president, I was so happy I literally died! I always wished for a literate person running our country. Now I think it was just a start of the never ending rumors from your side. Or maybe you ARE an Oxford graduate and that’s just how every graduate from there is. Maybe, if you had studied from KU you could run our country better and would have had not wasted so much of your dad’s hard working money. Oh my BAD! I should take off that, “hard work” from there.

Ahhh! the people of Pakistan again misunderstood the Names!

2) When your party got selected I was literally among hundreds of thousands of people who thought you will bring a positive change in the country. And, NO, by positive change, I did not mean we would have had seen naked un-extremists people running around doing anything but I thought we will just have a good life. You shattered my hope into pieces and taught me not to trust any leader in Pakistan ever again. Thank you!

3) From the time I hit my puberty, I thought I was smart enough to become a president. I would dream about living in Islamabad, having big cars, fool proof security and doing a little something for the country once in a while. But after watching you getting elected and the people already running to the presidency for the last ten years, I have came to the conclusion that my best friend’s argument, that the Presidents are not humans was so true. Thank you for making me realize that I can not be a good president!

Apology: To anyone who has a soft corner for the president.

Photoshop: @hameer ali

Later!