Wednesday, May 25, 2011

The top 10 reasons!

Recently, I came across a website that ranked the top failed countries in the world. It was not stunning to see Pakistan on 10th well above China (23rd) and India (84th). With failure there comes reason of the failure but I came up with my top 10 reasons to Pakistan’s failure in 21st Century.

The list goes on something like this:

(10) Adnan Sami: Sami is a British-born singer, musician, pianist, actor and composer of Pakistan origin. He currently holds Canadian citizenship and lives in Mumbai, India. I mean, come on guy, how mean can you get than this?  He betrayed Pakistan when they shunned him from singing for the country’s “extremely popular” industry. He then moved to India, our all-time favorite friend, and sang for Bollywood. How could he do that? That is like going to Israel! He shouldn’t had gone to India because now he is earning money in India and paying taxes earned from his ‘Pakistani Talent’. What a betrayal sir! This earns Sami the 10th position on my list.
 Indian much?

(9) Shoaib Malik: Shoaib Malik is the former captain of the national cricket team. Under immense pressure and tough competition in the team to get on the top, of course; on the list of controversies, Shoaib Malik has proved himself as a tough competitor. Though he never made the headlines for his cricketing skills but two things were enough to get him on this list. In 2008, media reports in Pakistan surfaced that Malik has married Ayesha Siddiqui, a woman from India. Really? You are married to a Indian? Though Malik denied these allegations saying his marriage plans with the woman did not go through, because of a lack of consensus between both the families. Of course they thought that way. I am glad someone did! In April 2010, Siddiqui's family released Shoaib-Ayesha 'marriage' certificate. But on April 7, 2010 Malik confirmed his marriage with Siddiqui and signed the Divorce papers. Bummer! He lost again. Then on 12 April 2010, Malik married Indian tennis player Sania Mirza in an Islamic wedding ceremony at the Taj Krishna Hotel in Hyderabad, India. Again? A Indian from the same place, and a tennis star? Dude, you are a genius. He gave Pakistan a upper hand by making India, his ‘In Laws’ and earned him a ‘number 9’.

Wow! Staying together forever? An Indian and a Pakistani? lol not happening:D

(8) IMF: The International Monetary Fund is one of the most responsible agencies that caused a lot of trouble to the Pakistani nation. So far, about $8 billion of the loan has been disbursed, while an additional $451 million in funding has since been authorised to cope with damage caused by the summer floods in 2010. OMG! $8 Billion? That would be enough to provide every Pakistani with a Roti (bread) for 3 times a day for a year, or more! Instead, these greedy IMFers and making our beloved, innocent politicians looking for more and more loan that is filling up their Swiss Band accounts. And now, since I am 18 years old, I am going to sue the IMF for playing such extravagant games with us. IMF is the Number Eight on this prestigious list.   

(7) Geo News: The biggest national news channel is responsible for exaggerating things more than they truly are. Ever opened the TV and watch a session on geo? Yes they are funny as hell. Geo is very irritating but when I researched about it, I found out that geo news is not even a Pakistani channel. One live proof about it is the Semi-Final match between India and Pakistan. If like me most of you watched the game on Geo Super then you’ll know how friggin annoying Jeem is, he danced everytime we took a wicket, and every friggin time we scored a boundary like he was purposely trying to jinx us. If that wasn’t enough when we started losing the haramkhor started praying for victory. Seriously doesn’t that make him a hypocrite? Dance when winning, remember God when losing, Mr.Jeem you sir are a hypocrite. After the game I blamed Mr.Jeem for this loss and then someone told me that he’s not even real which slightly pissed me off so here’s proof.
Mr.Jeem. A Zionist/Hindu/Corporate Conspiracy to defraud Pakistani Country.
Told you he’s real.

This is Mr.Jeem playing the violin. While being illuminated by a yellow light that makes him so like a symbol of the Illuminati! :O
(On a serious note how can an Animation pray to God. Geo your logic fails once again.)
I hate you Mr.Jeem and I hate you Geo:(

(6) Kamran Akmal: Kamran Akmal, the most capable and successful wicket-keeper in the history of Pakistani cricket. Lol just kidding. He sucks at it! Actually he is the worst cricket player, next to one other player I will mention later in this article (yes you got it right), who should have never been born. He stuns us every time he drops a simple catch(es) and now, it’s not even surprising. On the last year’s tour to Austrailia, he dropped more catches than my younger sister did while playing cricket with me over a period of 16 years of her life. Remember the Pak-NZ game this world cup? Mr Akmal gift wrapped couple of lives to the ‘Birthday Boy’. Even worse is the way he showcases his teeth after dropping those catches. Fortunately, for him, I am not the captain otherwise those teeths were long gone. 

"that's what i do once, every game!"                 That!!! There it is:(

These were the bottom 5 of this list! The top 5 is COMING SOON and it only gets more interesting.

P.S. I have no personal anger with any of these contenders. Its just that, i HATE THEM!

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